Heaven
by Labyrinthofdeath
Summary: Harry meets his parents in heaven, then finds out his daughter is with Scorpius Malfoy. James is crazy, Sirius is hysterical and Remus and lily regret staying with them. James/Lily Remus/Sirius Scorpius/Lily Luna. With help from Ffion.


"Look how arrogant our grandchildren are Potter." One Lily Potter snapped to her husband.  
"I didn't bring them up! It's not my fault!" James argued.  
"But it is your fault!"  
"Lils, how in merlins name is it my fault? We didnt even bring up Harry!... Oh, I'm sorry Lils." James cooed. Tears built up in her eyes as he pulled her into a hug. "Please dont cry! Harry is fine, he did a wonderful job with his children."  
"Harry took after you too,blaming Sev and hating Slytherins.." She muttered.  
"I guess thats a good thing?"  
"No you arrogant prat." The red-head giggled lightly as he twisted a section of hair around his fingers.  
"An arrogant prat you lo-ove" He pressed as he ran a hand through his unrurely hair.  
"Uch, stop with the hair already!" She smiled, running her own hands through it and kissing him lightly on the lips.  
"Any love left for me?" Sirius shouts strolling into the room, a huge smile playing on his features.  
"I know you love my sex hair, Lils." James teases, winking.  
"Shut it, Padfoot! I told you they were busy!" Remus rushes out pulling on Sirius' arm, trying to remove him from the room.  
"But I'm lonely!" Sirius whines.  
"Shut it Black." Lily scolds, wrapping her arms around James neck.  
"Go back to your tonsil hockey Evans." Sirius dismisses.  
"I would but your still here.." She replies hotly.  
"Padfoot, go." James butts in, sending a pleading look at his best friend.  
"Remus, please take him away?" Lily begs making sirius chuckle. "Leave, Black."  
"You love me really, Evans. When were you planning on telling James about us?" The boy questions, michievous glint in his grey eyes.  
"Padfoot..." James starts annoyed.  
"Wo, wo, have i hit a rough spot?"  
"SIRIUS!" Remus yells.  
"When you tell him about you and Remus." Lily smirks.  
"Really?" Sirius sighs.  
"Hah! She got you there padfoot." James laughs as he smiles down at the red head in his arms.  
"Sirius... There are so many rooms up here... c'mon just let me and James be alone? Please?" She says.  
"Just remember the muffalato spell for later Evans, yeah? No one in wizarding heaven wants to hear your screams." Sirius replies, smirking his pureblood smirk.  
"Oh you can't say much Paddy!" James jumps in.  
"JAAMESS! JAMESSSSS! And then there's the banging..." Sirius trails off shuddering.  
"Padfoot, please leave?" James is pleading now.  
"I'm going to find mam James! Tell her you're up here playing with Evans." He laughs, turning to leave.  
"IT'S POTTER! Me and James are married Black." Lily sighs.  
"MAM!" She screaches running from the room.  
"We've had a child! I think she knows we've slept together by now!" James shouts towards the room entrance.  
"Well... It might not be yours Potter." She smirks.  
"Who's then Sirius'? Remus'?" He ducks his head and whispers seductively in her ear, "Lily, Lily, Lily. Only we could make a child as hot as Harry."  
"Oi!" Remus shouts.  
"It could have been Sev's" She says, a playful glint in her eye.  
"You better be fucking with me Evans." He growls.  
"I'm a Potter now, James, remember?"  
"Maybe..Maybe not" James replies pulling her in closer to him. Ducking his head and shoving his tongue into her more than willing mouth.  
"Please guys! I'm still in the room!" Remus squeels uncomfortably.  
"Sorry Moony.." James apologises.  
"Sadly." Lily deadpans.  
"James! James!" A smooth voice travels into the room, followed by an extremely pretty woman.  
"Oh no...Its my mother." James says in an undertone before answer wearily "Yes?"  
"James. Please don't defile ALL the surfaces with your and Lily's sexual experiences." She smiles at Lily and James before leaving the room.  
"Please tell me she did not just say that?" James askes Lily with pleading in his deep hazel eyes.  
"She did." Lily replies, her cheaks flushing with embaressment.  
"Im going to kill him." James groans.  
"I'll help!"Is Remus' reply almost immedently.  
"James, you can't kill Sirius, we are already dead." She sighs, obviously disappointed with this fact.  
"I can try."  
"Oh, I know James." Rolling her eyes.  
"Oh, Here comes our boy James! How long has it been?" Lily whimpers.  
"Long enough Lils, long enough." he whispers holding her at arms length.  
"MY GODSONS HERE? MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY!" Sirius screaches running into the room, arms raised above his head.  
"Here comes the queen!" Remus mutters as he watches Sirius enter the room.  
"HARRY!" They greet together as they see his outline become more clear, into the person he was.  
"Mam? Dad?" Harry whispers.  
"Yes, it's us darling." Lily cooes closing her arms around the son she lost.  
"Why does Sirius look drunk?" Harry askes looking over his mothers shoulder during the hug.  
"He's always like that." James jokes, taking both Lily and Harry into his arms.  
"Where's Tonks, Remus?" The chosen one asks after his parents release him from the hug, James keeping an arm around Lily and a hand on his shoulder.  
"Uhh..." Remus starts, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.  
"Remus?" Harry continues uncertainly.  
"Harry," Lily breaks the silence, taking his hand in hers. " Remus isn't... um..."  
"Human?" Harry guesses excitidly.  
"We all know that!" Sirius snickers.  
"Sirius shush!" Lily dismisses.  
"Especailly in the bedroom.." Sirius winks before making barking noises.  
"I'm not here." James mutters under his breathe as realisation dawns on Harry.  
"Oh. OH! You two? You're?..." Harry starts, smiling to himself.  
"Yep.." Remus says uncertainly while Sirius practically sings it.  
"Oh, thats cool!" Harry reasures.  
"Umm... how's Teddy?" Remus questions.  
"Isn't he up here?" Harry asks looking around.  
"No?" Remus replies also looking around, " I think i'd have noticed the colour changing hair."  
"Im joking! He's fine! He and Victorie have two children! They are adorable!" Harry smiles remembering his godson.  
"I HAVE GRANDCHILDREN? YAY!"  
"Sirius." Remus deadpans. "He's not yours!"  
"Stepfather, Remember?" Sirius teases, poking Remus.  
"So, Prongs. When i went to go get mam i stopped at the viewing portal. You'll never guess what i saw!" Sirius squeals, obviously not used to keeping secrets.  
"Sirius... Not another joke again, please Sirius. Did you actually see anything?" Lily asks wearily.  
"I saw..." Sirius starts dramitically.  
"Yes?" James pushes.  
"Your granddaughter. Harry, you are familiar with your daughter, Lily Luna, correct?" Sirius asks.  
"Yes, Sirius, i know my daughter quite well." Harry drowns.  
"With my first cousin, second removed, Scorpius Malfoy! Lucius Malfoy's GRANDSON! In bed! I was horrified, digusted! But i do have new moves for us to try my furry little thing." Sirius ends smirking at Remus.  
"WHAT?" James shouts.  
"James, calm down." Lily comforts, placing her hands on his shoulders, massaging them gently.  
"Wait! MY DAUGHTER IS SLEEPING WITH MALFOY!" Harry screams.  
"Harry.." Lily soothes taking his hand.  
"No, no. Lily couldn't do that!" He mutters shaking his head.  
"Apperently she has.." Sirius joins holding in a laugh.  
"I will break his neck when he comes up here! Putting his filthy hands on MY granddaughter!" JAmes spits.  
"It's not that bad James, she could've done worse." Lily tries.  
"Worse! WORSE! There is no worse!" James shreeks.  
"James.." Lily says, taking his face in her small hands.  
"Mulciber's child?" Remus offers hopefully.  
"I agree dad! I will help!"  
"Boys! Calm!" Lily says, shaking her head at her boys antics. "Harry Don't follow your father! C'mon. Where in merlins name are you going now?"  
"The viewing portal." James answers before leading Harry out of the room.  
"Like father, like son." Remus smiles.  
"Ah for god's sake. Remus, lets go. You can help calm them down."  
"Nope." Remus says, taking a step back from Lily.  
"Remus." She threatens.  
"Do i have to?" Remus pleads.  
"Yes. Now Sirius, you stay here considering this is your fault." Lily tells.  
"But i wann-"  
"No Black. Stay." Lily argues.  
"But i need to see their faces Lil!" He whines.  
"Sirius."  
"Pleeeeeeeaseeee."  
"Uch, Fine! You owe me Black." Lily mutters.  
"YAY!" He cheers.  
"He's such a child." Remus whispers to Lily.  
-Walking to the viewing portal.-  
"I'm going to kill the pureblood bastard." James threatens.  
"I knew i should've told James and Albus to keep more of an eye on her." Harry mutters looking at the floor.  
"James," James says happily. "Oh Harry, awesome duelling! And i love how you got to Snivellus, fist pump!"  
"Dad, please never say fist pump again."  
"Here they are, remember they can see us or hear us, ok? Lets jump in!" James tells Harry.  
"We missed them! Goddamit Sirius!" Lily shouts  
"Let's go find them then.. They probably went to her anyway! Merlin Evans so overdramatic." Sirius sighs.  
-Lily Luna's flat-  
"Dad never would've approved, Scor." she murmurs to his chest, breathing heavily.  
"Mine either, Lils." He mutters playing with her coppery locks.  
"But they can't know." She sighes.  
"They're dead, Lily, they can't even if we wanted them to.." He kisses her head lightly. "What are we going to do about your mam, James and Al?"  
"We need to tell them Scor.." she says as she cuddles closer to him.  
"We'll have to break it to them gently." He sighs.  
-Ghosts.-  
"Don't do it Lily!" James cries.  
"Shut it James!" Lily swats him.  
-Scorpius+Lily-  
"We'll tell them the sam time as your mam. But not now right? Becuase I am feeling a touch sticky... maybe we should get cleaned up." Lily smirks seductivily. Taking Scorpius' hand and draggin him into the bathroom before turning on the shower.  
-Ghosts-  
"UCH! NO! YOU DARE! NO! NO!" Harry whines covering his eyes.  
"I'm going to hit him!" James mutters to himself as he watches Lily Luna and Scorpius disappear behind the shower door.  
"James, you have done way more to me! Remember that time in the quidditch changing rooms?" She smiles running a finger down his face.  
"Mum! I don't want to know!" Harry grimaces.  
"I've seen you with Ginny, Harry. What you've done." She replies hotly.  
"Oh, i remember that and in the showers." James smiles a crocked grin.  
"Least I thought of places that romatic with Ginny. No showers." Harry Admits smugly.  
"Broom closets?" Sirius shouts, looking appauled that Harry hasn't done anything in a broom closet.  
"Sirius!" Lily sighs.  
"You've never done it in a shower? Damnit Sirius, Remus did you not teach him anything?" James asked shocked.  
"It never came about." Sirius tells him.  
"Please don't say you and dad did it in broom closets?" Harry asked, but looking almost afraid of an answer.  
"Well... It was an exciting last year. Maybe once or twice. James stop touching me." Lily smiles as James' hand grabs her arse.  
"Evans I think you are forgetting that time at the lake.." Sirius winks.  
"Potter!" Lily shouts, turning her gaze to James, "You said wouldn't speak of that!"  
"I had to tell someone Lils!" He argues.  
"And you chose Sirius?" She pushes.  
"Wait! BY THE LAKE! At Hogwarts?" Says Harry looking sick.  
"I said somone James. Not the whole of heaven!" Lily starts again. "And yes Harry, the lake at Hogwarts."  
"Oh and in the lake, right Lils?" James winks taking her hand again.  
"Oh my god!" Harry shudders.  
"I wonder what the merpeople thought..." Sirius starts before Remus back hands him in the head.  
"But Harry, remember when you looked into snivellus' memories? Remember the beech tree he was hanging from? Yeah. I made that spot." James says to Harry patting him on the back while Lily shot him a glare.  
"I sat there! EW!" Harry shreeks.  
"Stop being a drama queen, Potter." A new voice says.  
"I feel sick" Harry announces before turning around seeing a blonde boy. "What the hell are you doing here Draco?"  
"Well i must see where my son gets his action." He snarls.  
"He did not just say that. C'mon Moony! That deserved a punch."  
"No Sirius, this is not your fight." Remus tells Sirius, holding him back.  
"It might as well be." Sirius cries.  
"Did you know about this Malfoy?" Harry reluctantly asks his former enemy.  
"For some time now.." He smiles.  
"How long have they been..." he trails off unable to finish his sentance.  
"Um, since her 5th year at hogwarts. So thats about 8 years." Draco replies awkwardly.  
"And i missed this how?" He grabs his hair, pulling at it hard.  
"You are so clueless Potter."  
"well they were pretty sneaky..." Sirius jumps in.  
"Padfoot!" Remus sighs.  
"What?" He replies oblivious.  
"How did it start?" Harry asks, pulling on Sirius' arm.  
"Well...Long story or Short?"  
"Suprise me.." Lily answers off handily.  
"Oh, I shall do that, Evans."  
"Sirius." James warns him.  
"Fine. Well... Little Rose was bullying Lily in Hogwarts...Used to beat her up with the help of some of her friends when they saw that lilt had been talking to Scorpius. With Lily being a Gryffindor they didn't think it was right, understand?" Sirius starts.  
"Kind of." James replies before Lily whispers something in his ear making him nod his head at Sirius to continue.  
"Yeah well, Scorpius found her beaten up in the middle of corridor during his rounds as a prefect, and he asked her questions which she refused to answer. He told her he was taking her to the hospital wing and she nearly hexed him with the little energy she had left. It was hilarious! Yeah, well. She started having nightmares,and albus was taking Rose's side saying she should not be talking to Slytherins and James was sleeping with randoms- he pulls welli must say, just like his great godfather."  
"That's not a thing Sirius." Remus tells him bluntly.  
"It is in my head. Now sh. i was telling a story! Anyway, she made her way down to the kitchens since she could sleep. On the way out she ran into Scorpius. He saw her in the state she was in and took her to his room. Thats when they started sleeping together. Lily stop crying, she didnt lose her innocence then, Merlin! They just slept in the same bed. she brought her most of her stuff down into his room. He was like her protector. Get it?"  
"I will murder Albus!" Harry shouted.  
"Me too!" James voiced.  
"James, dont copy your son. That's your grandson you want to murder." Lily reasoned.  
"He sided with the enemy Lils!" James argued.  
"Who is also your son's niece.."  
"As if i care!"  
"well what else would you expect from weasley and granger's spawn." Malfoy deadpanned.  
"Draco, shush. Harry, you do anything i swear i will make heaven your own personal hell. You too James, Sirius."  
"But-"Harry started.  
"No, Harry. Stop. Draco apologise." Lily demanded.  
"Sorry Mrs Potter." Draco says head hanging.  
"See he knows im a potter!" She beams proudly interlacing her fingers with James'.  
"EW,EW! Mam is bonding with a Malfoy! DAAAADDDD!"  
"She's just being civil Harry." Remus decided.  
"Rose weasley is a psycopath!" Sirius shouts out.  
"What? How?" Harry questions.  
"She's slept with most of the boys in Hogwarts!"  
"Really?" Everyone replies to Sirius' statement.  
"Almost as bad a Sirius.." Lily stiffles a laugh.  
"Even tried to get on Scorpius when he and Lily were known to be together." Sirius continues, "And i slept with the girls at school!"  
"Until Remus." Lily chockes out.  
"Wait what make you think we've slept together?"Remus questions, raising an eyebrow.  
"It's you padfoot, we aren't stupid." James laughs.  
"Ah look! Remus is blushing!" Lily cooes.  
"And that Mrs Potter is why i chose you." He tells her kissing her nose affectionally.  
"Ew."  
"Sh, Draco." A new voice replies.  
"Mam?" Draco replies turning to face his mother.  
"Yes Draco. Hello Sirius, it been a while." She smiles at him.  
"Narcissa." He nods in greating.  
"Lily, how nice to meet you, I'm Narcissa Malfoy. I hope we dont degrade on names here, Mrs Potter."  
"Hello Narcissa. Oh, i would not dare. Especially since the way i was treated." she replied happily squeezing james hand reasuringily.  
"So Cissy, where is your husband?" Sirius asks bluntly.  
She shrugs, "Sirius, you and I both know that he's either in hell or a part of heaven brooding."  
"Hells more likely." Sirius coughs.  
"Have you seen Dromeda around here?" She wonders aloud.  
"Mother, have you seen what Scorpius is doing?" He askes nodding towards the shower.  
"Oh Lily dear, can you believe we are going to be related! Oh there's excitement." She elates.  
"I think shes with Dora, Cissy." Sirius replies to her earlier question but she doesn't notice as she's too busy with Lily. "Oh my merlin! Lily and Cissy! Umm.. This is not right! PRONGS, MOONY! This is wrong! Don't hug! DONT HUG! Oh no... You dont think this is an apocalypse?"  
"This is heaven padfoot... Lets get you to bed..." Remus tells him softly.  
"Only if you stay with me moony."  
"Oh god." Remus rolls his eyes.  
"Are they, together?" Narcissa asks curiously.  
"Yes Cissy." Lily smiles.  
"Now she's calling her cissy! GREAT!" Sirius shreeks. " I have turned them into monsters.

* * *

So this story actually started as a conversation between me and my friend, Ffion, when talking about how they would react to Harry's children, but then we accidently added more people in and it became this...  
But we thought it was just too awesome to keep from you all.  
Hope you liked it.

Review?

-Cassi


End file.
